Thursday, June 19, 2014

Done with AMBW.

When I first told my best friend that there are Facebook groups dedicated to fostering relationships between Asian Men and Black Women (hence the acronym AMBW), she thought it was nuts.

I tried to clarify for her WHY groups like this existed the main reason being that there are many negative stereotypes going against both Black women and Asian men; when you see certain rich, Black athletes and especially rappers, you see them with non-Black women. (Wasn't there even a rapper who went on a tirade against Black women?)

Asian men get stereotyped as being scrawny compared to strong men of other races, and are assumed to be lacking physically in certain areas, if you know what I mean.

So, wouldn't it make sense for two groups who get a bad rep to come together and be able to relate to each other's struggles?

...is how I explained it to my friend.

I understand the difficulty in being thought of as "undesirable." And that's why I like that there are groups encouraging this type of interracial, intercultural exchange.

But...recently I suddenly left an AMBW Facebook group that I was part of for a pretty long time. I saw one post, by a Korean guy taking a selfie, pretty much saying "What's up?" and not much else.

It's become so lame. Instead of having meaningful discussion, that particular group seems to have become a shallow place where people post pics of hot Asian models and celebrities, and where the Black women seem to flock to every post from a guy with an Asian last name, even if all he's saying is "Yo."

I can't say that EVERY group is like that, because I wasn't part of EVERY group; just that one and maybe another that I've forgotten about. But I didn't sign up for "yellow fever," nor would I want a guy specifically looking for an "exotic" woman.

So, I'm all for fostering relationships that would otherwise be unlikely to happen, but don't make "getting a Japanese boyfriend" or "scoring a black girlfriend" a goal. There's quite a few interracial relationships within my own family, and none of them had anything to do with one person TRYING to score a partner of a particular race. Successful interracial relationships come to be because both people decided to look PAST race, not because they looked FOR a certain race.